Race Relations: Part II

It is very sad, but very true. There is still a lot of racism and racial bias in the USA and the world. The first step is if we (not just you and I, but the collective "we") systemically recognize there is an issue. Many very "good" people that I would not call racist do not want to believe that racism, both individually and systemically, is still so prevalent. I myself have been guilty of wanting to just excuse it as a few bad eggs and "look how far we've come" and so on. But, I have a duty to not only my husband and now even moreso my children, but to all Black people to not turn a blind eye.

It's an important time to educate ourselves and also not be so defensive. The Black Lives Matter movement is not stating other lives, including law enforcement, do not matter, but it is the basic premise that All Lives do NOT Matter IF Black Lives do Not Matter (too). I know many people are talking about the parable of the sheep, but it is because it may help to open our minds as to the reasoning. In Luke Chapter 15, a shepherd leaves his flock of 99 sheep to look for his 1 lost sheep. It's not that the 99 didn't matter, it's that the 1 is in danger.

As uncomfortable as it is, real change cannot happen until white people stand up to racism as well. It is not enough to just not be racist ourselves. This is a hard one for me as a business professional. There have been many times I have sat at a closing table and have had to hear the most hurtful racist comments and just sit and take it in stride. I don't know the answer on how best to combat that. I do have pictures of my family on the front bulletin board to display proudly. Clearly, that in itself, I am sure is not enough, but it is a weary fine line to tread. One more reason so many people feel at the breaking point. (do not get me wrong, my employers and employees are not a part of that mentality, I am blessed to be surrounded by compassionate people every day)

I have witnessed a parent talking to Keegan (and then backtracking) about their slave owner ancestors in a jestful way at the end of soccer practice one night. I painstakingly admit that I just blew it off (and thankfully Keegan didn't seem to actually take in what was being said). Another mom reached out to me who was there as well. She wanted to be sure we were okay and she was horrified and it is one more realization that I myself have been part of the problem, even if I am not a racist. She definitely did not mean to shame me, and her concern that night elevated my respect for her a thousand times over, but I feel shame.

This week I watched a one hour special on CBS with Gayle King called Justice for All. I cried for that one hour. Even the commercials had me in tears. I pictured Keegan as the young college athlete who was brutally shot or the young man who was on the corner of a street and shot at 41 times, who never so much as had a traffic ticket and finally earned enough money to go to college as his dream was. I pictured Caelyn as the little girl in the commercial who was told she was "pretty for a black girl." I cried for over that one straight hour and I have been crying a lot for some time now and I am sure it is only the beginning.

Maybe this is a much needed awakening of sorts.

This is a conversation our country has to have and that is only the start. This should not be a political issue or a bipartisan one, but rather a human rights issue, a matter of humanity.

I wish I knew what to do to make a difference. How to speak, what to say, to have a bigger platform to be heard. But, for now, we must educate ourselves. Stop with the defensiveness and, as hard as it is, stop with the silence.

This is a hard time for our family in ways that others may not and cannot truly understand. We also acknowledge, it's an even harder time for many others in ways we can't understand. For me, it is an awakening. It is something we have to deal with and our dream is that our family can be a beacon of hope and love for many.