What. A. Year.
As I start this post, we’re just about 1/2 way through 2020. But, as I finish it we are now two months later about to start the next school year. That’s how 2020 has been. A year of uncertainty. An emotional roller coaster. A time when you are afraid to commit to any one plan of action or ideology.
2020. A year that started out about “vision” and “hope” and “potential.”
But, that didn’t really last long, did it? It turned into fear and sadness and a “new normal” for many.
I work full-time. One of the curses of running a small, yet thankfully successful, business is it is so hard to take any substantial time off. Last year and this year we rallied together so that I could take off spring break with my family. My husband works as a dean for our local school district so not only would I be able to spend the week with my kids, but potentially my husband as well (I say potentially, as he was hopefully teaching for a foundation that he often does during breaks, but COVID 19 had plans to nip that in the bud.) or at least be with the kids if he could not. We were going to go to local museums and such and just enjoy a staycation. Well stay we did. No one really knew that Spring Break 2020 was the beginning of the end of the school year. The Infamous 4th Quarter as I like to call it.
My kids left for spring break and never went back to school to finish their year with their friends and teachers. I did take that one week off, but have been working non stop since. Lay on the mom guilt (again) as my husband and kids stayed “safer at home” while I went to my essential job every day. I am thankful we were able to keep working, no doubt about that. But, I didn’t help my kids much with their schooling or work on much needed house projects or any of that. The first 6 weeks I barely slept. I was falling apart. But then, thankfully, the fear subsided. And the fear was odd in itself... not solely of the virus itself, but of the unknowns and of how a virus could literally bring the world to its knees. Now we live in acute awareness, which is both positive and negative, if that makes sense.
It was also stressful seeing all of the judging on social media. Claws out. And wasn’t two weeks to stop the spread (turning into 10 weeks+) the idea of equipping our healthcare system to deal with the virus? But even now, 5+ months later as Florida works on a path to open back up, people are angry because the virus is still here. But, I thought that was the point a bit? It’s never going to be eradicated, so let’s get ourselves better ready to handle it and by flatten the curve not necessarily lessening the number of cases just spreading them out over time? The goal less death to put it morbidly? Florida. My family’s beloved home state. Also, the brunt of jokes. Who would want to be a leader in a time like this. I know I would not because there is no clear right way.
My kids stayed home for those 10 weeks and other than my job, my husband and I mainly just went to the store (in our masks I bought about the first week in). But we are guilty (for lack of a better word, as I don’t think we are wrong to to do so, although I know others probably do) in integrating them back into society now. Caelyn attending her beloved dance camp. Keegan getting to attend tryouts with his soccer team (his soccer family!) the first couple of weeks of June and also starting a 3v3 soccer team for the summer. Still some remnants of social distancing and sanitizing and so on can be seen in these activities that remind you things aren’t truly “normal” yet, but a much needed glimpse of it! I am not sure if these are the right decisions, but for right now I know they are the right decisions for my family and I pray hindsight doesn’t get us. I still work every day and cannot bring my children with me. They were also starting to crack a little too.
I will say there was some good with their extra time at home. Keegan learned to ride his bike. Both kids play with toys a bit more (although we still need to work on screen time). As a family we played more board games and became obsessed with puzzles. We went blueberry picking. We participated in a couple of Virtual 5Ks. The kids (and us) made better use of our arts and crafts supplies.
I get the fear of the virus and I get the fear of living in a bubble. I have feared both and still fear both. I wish I knew the answer. I do know I am ready for “normal” again, but I’m not sure when that will be and I hope not to regret inching towards it. As the school year is about to start, we are filled with many thoughts.
As everyone is making the decision on what their child/ren's school year will look like and declaring such, I really hope that people keep in mind that it is not a one-size fits all and just because one family chooses something different from your choice, they are not wrong just the same as you are not wrong. They are not less loving as a parent or less protective as a parent or a lesser parent in general. Kindness goes a long way...
