Race Relations: Part II

It is very sad, but very true. There is still a lot of racism and racial bias in the USA and the world. The first step is if we (not just you and I, but the collective "we") systemically recognize there is an issue. Many very "good" people that I would not call racist do not want to believe that racism, both individually and systemically, is still so prevalent. I myself have been guilty of wanting to just excuse it as a few bad eggs and "look how far we've come" and so on. But, I have a duty to not only my husband and now even moreso my children, but to all Black people to not turn a blind eye.

It's an important time to educate ourselves and also not be so defensive. The Black Lives Matter movement is not stating other lives, including law enforcement, do not matter, but it is the basic premise that All Lives do NOT Matter IF Black Lives do Not Matter (too). I know many people are talking about the parable of the sheep, but it is because it may help to open our minds as to the reasoning. In Luke Chapter 15, a shepherd leaves his flock of 99 sheep to look for his 1 lost sheep. It's not that the 99 didn't matter, it's that the 1 is in danger.

As uncomfortable as it is, real change cannot happen until white people stand up to racism as well. It is not enough to just not be racist ourselves. This is a hard one for me as a business professional. There have been many times I have sat at a closing table and have had to hear the most hurtful racist comments and just sit and take it in stride. I don't know the answer on how best to combat that. I do have pictures of my family on the front bulletin board to display proudly. Clearly, that in itself, I am sure is not enough, but it is a weary fine line to tread. One more reason so many people feel at the breaking point. (do not get me wrong, my employers and employees are not a part of that mentality, I am blessed to be surrounded by compassionate people every day)

I have witnessed a parent talking to Keegan (and then backtracking) about their slave owner ancestors in a jestful way at the end of soccer practice one night. I painstakingly admit that I just blew it off (and thankfully Keegan didn't seem to actually take in what was being said). Another mom reached out to me who was there as well. She wanted to be sure we were okay and she was horrified and it is one more realization that I myself have been part of the problem, even if I am not a racist. She definitely did not mean to shame me, and her concern that night elevated my respect for her a thousand times over, but I feel shame.

This week I watched a one hour special on CBS with Gayle King called Justice for All. I cried for that one hour. Even the commercials had me in tears. I pictured Keegan as the young college athlete who was brutally shot or the young man who was on the corner of a street and shot at 41 times, who never so much as had a traffic ticket and finally earned enough money to go to college as his dream was. I pictured Caelyn as the little girl in the commercial who was told she was "pretty for a black girl." I cried for over that one straight hour and I have been crying a lot for some time now and I am sure it is only the beginning.

Maybe this is a much needed awakening of sorts.

This is a conversation our country has to have and that is only the start. This should not be a political issue or a bipartisan one, but rather a human rights issue, a matter of humanity.

I wish I knew what to do to make a difference. How to speak, what to say, to have a bigger platform to be heard. But, for now, we must educate ourselves. Stop with the defensiveness and, as hard as it is, stop with the silence.

This is a hard time for our family in ways that others may not and cannot truly understand. We also acknowledge, it's an even harder time for many others in ways we can't understand. For me, it is an awakening. It is something we have to deal with and our dream is that our family can be a beacon of hope and love for many.

Race Relations: Part I

Race Relations. I’m going there. Even if just briefly. I have to.

There has actually been people messaging my husband that the latest events aren’t really a race issue (in regards to him posting his feelings on the recent events).

“There CANNOT be a moving forward until there is an acknowledgement systemically of the problem.” - Oprah

Even I myself have tried to see “both sides of the story" in headlines of the past. Even I, whose love of my life is a Black Man and whose most precious three children are beautiful Black Human Beings (including a black son). Even I, who has been with my husband through the years when pulled over and car searched for no reason and no probable cause, who a police officer (who thankfully seemed nice enough) came to our honeymoon destination because a neighbor called about a black man entering the house. Even I have tried to placate my husband with “just do as they say and maybe we will show them black people are like them and change their views.” Even I, who knows we cannot just vacation in any community or area throughout our country without thinking it through or move to any town without thinking about the dynamics. Don’t think I don’t thank God every day that we live where we live, even though I still have to preface it with, “because “most” of our town and county is diverse and accepting.” Even I try to not think about it too much, because most people are good.

BUT These last few headlines (Ahmaud Arbery, Christian Cooper, George Floyd) there has been a camera so now you can see it and you can’t pretend that you didn’t see it. You can’t pretend there were justifications of some sort. I can’t pretend anymore either.

I have cried a lot these last weeks.

There are a lot of good people in this world. And more importantly, this country still has a lot of racial divide that needs to be recognized not justified.

Full Out Mini Van Driving Soccer Mom

I know I am far from alone in this crazy world of Soccer Mommin' it, but I can't help but feel if you open up a dictionary and look up Soccer Mom, you will find a picture of me, rocking out to my kids' favorite music on repeat, cruisin' in my mini van.  The ultimate in uncool, but still necessary, mom that even your kids' friends know they can rely on for a snack, to borrow your phone, or even a ride home. On game day you might find me with the bare minimum of a camp chair, keys, phone, and drink of choice (while I have seen it much worse, I keep it legit - coffee or water - for these elementary age field side events) or other times loaded down with my backpack and binder of info ala team manager days, wagon filled with snacks, chairs, team bench(es), and the coveted neck cooling towels.  I like to switch it up.

My kid, who happens to only be nine, can spout off knowledge of the game like the pros. He's been playing since he was three and part of an academy for several years now.  I'm learning there too.  I've even schooled some dads on the logistics of offsides and a build-out line in 7 v 7 games.  I mean, it took me all of last (last) year's season (that's August through May in the travel ball world down here) to begin to grasp it, but I'm getting there.

Being a Soccer Mom is a lot of things.  It's chaotic and exhausting and dirty (um, laundry!) and intense.  But, it's also fun and exciting and relaxing and quality time.  I work a high-stress 9-5 (sometimes well after) job and it is SO NICE to sit at the fields in the evenings and just relax and breath in the fresh air.  It's how I unwind and when we are on a break, I miss it.  Tournaments and games and training and triumphs and losses. All of it. I miss it.  

COVID 19 cut our season short this year.  Two months and four tournaments that will never be made up.  If that's the worst that happens, we consider ourselves lucky, but we can mourn our losses no matter how big or small just the same.  Just this past week the fields were open again and tryouts were held.  Even though our boys got invited back for next year and didn't have to officially tryout, they made sure to attend every session possible. Modifications for social distancing in place and ready to go. To see each other and to have the ball at their feet.  We felt at home.  Not just the players, but the parents as well.  This next year our club, Elite Soccer Academy, will be joining forces with B1 Academy out of Barcelona to form the new B1 USA and we are very excited for this adventure.  There is hope for our world to return to normal at some point.  2020 will be a year to go down in the history books - I am sure once I gather the words, I will put them out there for all to see.  

But for now, I look forward to being that Soccer Mom once again. You'll find me cruisin' down the streets, or in the parking lot looking for a spot, in my mini van with whatever hit music my kids are listening to or the occasional Disney soundtrack or Lionel Richie hit (we like variety!) - See you on the fields!